The Muppets Are Evilz! And Brainwashing! Oh, And Sent From Communist China!!!

First of all I'd really, really like to know if this is a serious feature from a serious news channel?
It looks like a classical spoof on the stereotype of "stupid Americans," so if this is for real I'm pretty scared...

Time for a rant!
 I haven't seen the Muppets movie, but to compare it to "communist China" and Mao's propaganda is pretty damn freaky. Muppets are brainwashing kids, it seems. Oh, just like The Day After Tomorrow is a big, bad movie made to brainwash us all. Run while you can!!!


Hey Fox News - The Day After Tomorrow is something called fiction from a place called Hollywood. Ever heard these terms before?
Well, fiction means something that isn't real. In this case it's made for entertainment, and for money. There's this other kind of movies called documentaries, that are supposed to depict reality fairly truthful, but in fiction it's ok to make stuff up! Like, you know, zombies, talking animals, time travel machines and even nature disasters that are overexaggerated. You see, depicting nature exactly as it is, is not likely to become a blockbuster and make loads and loads of money.
Then there's this other thing called science, but no worries, I will not confuse you with that right now.
Hollywood is this place where they make up stuff to get rich, it's basically a money machine. And you know what that is, so I won't get into that.

Why do people that stupid get to control a major media outlet? That's so surreal.

Kermit and his new BFFs.

Haha, oh my goodness. Just watched a bit of it again, and that dude who can't move his face has a pretty hilarious answer when asked if "liberal Hollywood" is using "class warfare" (warfare? Really?) trying to "brainwash our kids": "Yeah, absolutely! And they've been doing it for decades!"
And here's another golden nugget: Occupy Wall Street is evil, liberal Hollywood's fault, because the poor young "have been indoctrinated, litterally for YEARS, with this kind of stuff!"
Also Fox seem to think that the great message in The Day After Tomorrow is that the oil industry is evil. To brainwash people with this point was actually why the movie was made. Damn! Saw right through it - didn't ya, you clever things!


Maybe Fox should start looking at people's education and intellect before hiring them. The host must have an IQ lower than 90 and I highly doubt he graduated high school, because I'm not sure a single intellectual thing left his mouth during those 7 minutes. And he talked quite a bit.

"I just wish liberals would leave little kids alone" said the pretty girl with the big, brown eyes. Am I the only one being reminded of LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! ?
Gods... Where do they find their show hosts? They actually have staff with less IQ than the male host they started this off with?! I'm... Shocked. Or impressed. I just wish they wouldn't let them on tv, I guess...

Leave Britney alone! And the kids! And the multimillionaires!!!
... Can I have two cheeseburgers and some fries to go, please?

The last, very interesting thing in this feature is, that the only intelligent, educated person is a pretty, blonde girl.
Yes. I laughed.
Here's 7 minutes of "cartoons are actually evil brainwashing and propaganda" and proof of how (some) Americans are worse than the stereotype they try to fight and in comes someone who's probably heard a LOT of blondie-jokes, she definitely looks the part, and then she's actully pretty kick-ass.
So there was something positive in this.

/Endrant.

If you didn't read all this I don't blame you. But props if you did.
Just a bit of proof of why education and the ability to think for yourself is important. And I needed to vent.

Golden Monday

When I got up this morning it was dark. Dark and cold and really foggy outside. I had promised a friend to wear glasses today (instead of my normal contactlenses), so all in all it seemed pretty much like a bitch normal Monday.
Rolling down the hill on my bike - nothing unusual. (Except for the glasses that seemingly prevented me from crying my eyes out as I usually do).
Going inside the institute - nothing special. Just chatting with the others before the lecture started.

"I wish I could look as sexy as Charlotte sporting glasses and a bike..."

Then I opened up my computer and logged on Facebook and there it was.
A golden ticket from Willy Wonka.
A treasure chest on the bottom of the ocean.
A light at the end of the tunnel!

This is how the light at the end of winter the tunnel looks.

An invitation to fucking southern France. For two weeks. This summer.
Holy crap. I didn't believe my eyes. But a friend got permission from his parents to borrow their summerhouse in southern France for a couple of weeks and invite some friends along, and I was (one of the six) chosen one(s).
My Monday was saved. Actually I don't remember if I've ever been this happy on a Monday in November ever before.
Of course I had to spend the rest of the day (or until 14.00, at least) letting others on the institute know. They appreciated the information.
Mwahahaha.

Loves it.

Once There Was A Bottle Of Tequila...

Actually, once there were quite many bottles of tequila, and the people of the kingdom of Geosciencia could not quite believe the number of there was.
"Why are there so many bottles?" "Are they just for tonight?" "How shall we ever drink all of them?" they asked. The people believed there were too many bottles to be drunk in one evening.

Like this. Exept it was bottles. And lemons. And there were many more!
And... well, it wasn't all that fancy.

One evening there was a party. A party where men dressed like women would walk the catwalk and compete for the title of Miss Geo 2011. The competing started late, for earlier on, most of the men denied any interest in this title, though they secretly yearned to win. As the evening went on, beer was drunk and many a bottle of tequila was emptied, and suddenly more showed interest in partaking in the glorious competition.
Luckily for them, there were old ladies-clothing and women quite capable of helping with the hardships of "make-up" - an ancient artform, and mystery for many a man.

You need our help or you'll end up looking like this. Or worse.

At the late hour of ~8pm more than half the bottles of tequila('s content) had disappeared mysteriously, and the show was about to begin.
Yours truly were not feeling all the way on top, due to standing behind the bar which led to quite a few free rounds of shots from happy costumers. Tablesoccer did not burn off the lovely effects of the tequila. Or the beer. Or the vodka... Well, back to the story.
One by one the competitors took the catwalk. Bodyparts were shaken, clothes taken off and moves that need a PG-rating, at the least, was made. Finally there was a winner.
It's a little foggy what exactly made him stand apart from his competitors, but win he did, and happy he was.

"Yeah, bitches. This is how I roll."*
*Not Miss Geo in photo.

For the record I shall let it be known, that by 22-23-ish all the tequila was gone. And the people of Geoscienca wanted more. I, however, had decided that I needed no more (alcohol) to drink for the night, and drunkenly happily left a while later to get fastfood and nice, cold water.

Review: Within Temptation, Falconer Theatre, 25/10/2011.

Figured I'd try my hand at concert reviewing - why not.

So, after moving my exam I hurried back home 24th October so I would be ready to rock out at the (very, very anticipated) Within Temptation concert in the Falconer Theatre (Falconér Salen) in Copenhagen, Denmark the next day.
The concert was originally supposed to happen (in March!) at Store Vega, but sold out and was moved to a bigger venue: KB Hallen. Then the lead singer of the band, Sharon den Adel, got pregnant and the show was moved to October. Then, about a week before the show, KB Hallen burned and luckily the concert was moved to the Falconer Theatre.
This last piece of news was a spoonfull of awesome, since the acoustics of KB Hallen are (they're rebuilding the thing) (in)famous for being... Well, politely and politically correct put; sub par. Or you could say "awful".

I went with a couple of friends, and when we got there, we made the (in my opinion) not-awesome decision of placing ourselves at the top balcony, where we could sit (completely unnecessary) and see the stage at all times (which was what convinced me to do it).

At about 20.00 the warm-up band Triggerfinger went on stage. Although I wasn't a big fan of their music, they delivered a great show with loads of energy. I enjoyed watching them, but was impatiently waiting for the main gig. As well as most others, it seems. Sorry guys, but still - great job!

Lead singer of Triggerfinger.
Rock on!

At about 21.00 Within Temptation finally took the stage (I'd literally waited a year for them), starting out with a Mother Maiden short-film (the backdrop was a screen showing musicvideos and stuff while the band played), which didn't surprise me.Even though I'm not loving the short films, I think they made for a great part of the concert. Right after the shortfilm ended, they started off with Shot in the Dark. The band was amazingly energetic - most things are probably less energetic than Triggerfinger, but Within Temptation sure kept the energy levels up. I don't remember the exact sequence of the songs (I was busy partying with the show), but cheating a bit, it was something like this:

Shot in the Dark

In The Middle of The Night

Faster

Fire And Ice

Ice Queen

The Howling

Our Solemn Hour

Stand My Ground

Sinéad

What Have You Done

Iron

Angels

Memories

See Who I Am

Mother Earth

Encore:

Stairway to the Skies

How does she both sing like an angel and look like one?!

Commenting on just a couple of the tracks, or more:
I was a little surprised they started out with four TU-tracks in a row. Two of my friends seemingly hadn't heard the new album (why? I don't know...), so I guess it was a little weird for them, although one of them tried to sing along. It was awesome. I was, of course "singing" along through the entire concert, even though I was placed with the boring people who were just watching. Concerts like this are supposed to be dynamic and fun, it's not classical!

Then came Ice Queen - completely surprising me (not for the last time that night), going from some of the newest to some of the oldest. The backdrop showed snowy mountains and beautiful sceneries. Being a complete geek (loves it), I was thinking (the entire time) "arrrh, the sky isn't blue in the mountains when it's snowing like that" and "hmm, I wonder what kinds of moutains they are".
After this we got The Howling and Our Solemn Hour - both great tracks, followed by Stand My Ground - and the crowd went crazy. The friend I sat (sigh) next to and I were pretty much singing screaming along as loud as we could through the entire song.

Awesomesauce x 10

Then Sinéad (awesome) and What Have You Done, of course resulting in the crowd screaming "what have you done now?" as loud as possible - whenever possible.
After this we got Iron followed by, finally, Angels which is one of my through-and-through favorite tracks by Within Temptation. Might be the first one I heard, and it certainly holds a special place in my heart.
Then came Memories, a little bit of the same style, and also a track from The Silent Force. After this they played See Who I Am, and the one song I'm still the most surprised they played: Mother Earth.

Looking amazing live, just sayin'.

It was incredible to hear Mother Earth live, it's an awesome track, and people seemed to be loving it. I'm pretty biased, since I sure was (loving it, like McD loves fat people).
In the end we got a final bonus track (or encore, I guess): Stairway to the Skies. A very good song, and rather good to end on. I guess. If it has to end. Which it did.

After the concert Sharon and one of the guys jumped down and met a couple of the fans which, to me, shows that not only are they great musicians - they're also really nice and down to earth kinds of people. Unfortunately I didn't get to say hi, but I loved the show, even though I didn't think it was long enough. At all. But they played for almost an hour and a half, so in the end it's not all bad, and I guess they would be exhausted if they played for two or three hours every night. Can't blame 'em.
And in the end I prefer quality over quantity.

Great show - thanks a lot!

Sharon sang amazing and the band played incredibly well, I'm so impressed. Only thing that bugged me was the lighting - it might just be my unfortunate, high position, but I got blinded quite a few times, which was a little annoying when I wanted to see more of the great show down on the scene.
Otherwise it was the best. My neck hurt both Wednesday and Thursday, which is a record by me. More proof of a great concert!

I found a stairway to the skies in the end.
Within Temptaion, please come back to Denmark. Soon.

Finally I would just like to mention that we found a place to buy a beer (or two, or seven. Whatever) after the concert. Wasn't easy, not many places are open on a Tuesday night. Got kicked out from a couple of places because they closed hella early (1am or something, weird), but one of the places contained guys drinking Bacardi Breezer, so I was happy to get back to Sam's Bar with beer and karaokee. Insane standards for singing in there, by the way. If it's that way every night, it's like going to a fairly good concert - only a lot cheaper.

The Holy Internet Which Holds Answers To All Your Questions.

Right?
Anywho, last year I got myself a nice little Helix-piercing in my left ear. I love it, and I think my mother has learned to ignore it although it seemed like they were mortal enemies for the first couple of months. Thing is, I might like to change it, even though I really like my beloved, simple Blackline-ring which currently recides there.

Looking something like this. Only blacker.
Yes, that's a word.

The problem, then, is that I don't know how to get the damn thing out.
I know I googled it before (a while ago... Might've been months) and found youtube-videos showing what to do. Most of them involved tools, which is really annoying because I'm not rich, and would rather spend money on fun stuff (new piercing?) than on tools.
My point is, that all of this seems to have vanished into thin air. How the hell did that happen? Google has allied with the devil? Or Apple? Same shit different name?

Yeah, no, this is not a Halloween costume.

If anybody has some tips of awesomeness for easy removal (besides "go to your piercer"), it would be awesome to get them in here. I'm 99,9% sure I can't be the only one with this problem.
Also, I tried to get my major keywords in here, Blackline piercing, removal (although that sounds so harsh - I want to keep it, I just... want see what it looks like with other jewellry. I'm not cheating on my piercing... Right?) so maybe someone will find it. Like life on Mars.
So gather round, pierced geniousses, and let me (and the Internet) know what you know!

If nobody answers, I'll know Google's behind this conspiracy!!!
Jk.




...Not really.

Busy, lazy life. Hello.

It's been forever (give or take) since I updated this, but I'm ill and staying with my parents for a couple of days and the internet is failing me (can't watch my precious moreorless guilty pleasure series online), so I was reading other blogs and decided to update this a bit.

The Vampire Diaries would not contain the same amounts of awesomeness without the picture-part working properly. Mmmh...

So I started uni a couple of months ago, and it's been crazy. I'm just loving it. The people, the place, the courses (or well, some of them) and then - table soccer. My new #1 procrastination-tool. We have a free table down at the institute, and being a very small institute all the way down one end of the unipark it's usually rather easy to get to use it. For a couple of hours...

Another thing I've noted in my new academic life is the amazing amounts of beer. Exam done? Beer! Friday? Beer! In the mood for beer? More beer!
I've never drunk this much ever before, and I didn't even like beer before I started uni. Well, after a week of possibly drinking more beer than water, I guess I kinda got used to it. Also, it's cheaper than drinks!

This looks quite a bit like my new average Friday afternoon/evening.
Except for the old person, the suit and the shameless lack of beer.

My internet is driving me batshit crazy, so I'll end this  post and check for a FF-update.
Pleeeease make it better!!!

Better Late Than Never, Right?

What'up.
So my bro (/bff whom I've known my entire life - give or take a couple of months) just visited for 2,5 weeks and flew back to the effing stupid States yesterday. I had just gotten used to having her around and breakfasting with her, and now it's over. Grrr. Miss her already, and that sucks old goat balls!

We are completely sensible and normal people, and about 75% of the pictures I took while she was here look like this...
5% I have no words for. And the rest is stuff I'll let people see.

This also means that uni starts scarily soon. And I have 4 days to say bye to my friends before leaving. Wth? How did this happen?!
Also I don't really have a place to stay, so I have persuaded my lovely grandmother to let me stay with her for a couple of weeks 'til I find something.
Jeez Louise, it's way harder than I thought to find somewhere to stay.
Also I feel like I need to get rid of a couple of kg's fat ASAP!
It's a wonder what a couple of cakes every day for 2½ weeks and less working out than usual will do for to your body. I'm telling you!

Gahhhh. Gimme sunshine.

What Happens At Work... Apparently Doesn't Stay There.

In the summertime I work at this little shop by a lake where we mainly sell beer, ice cream and junk food. This doesn't sound very exciting, I know. But holy shit, weird stuff goes on at that place. And some of those customers are even more whacked than we who work there.
This Tuesday I took a nice little 9,5 hour-shift, and among other things I danced and sang with/for some customers, tried to communicate with an old Italian couple who spoke Italian. And only Italian, it seemed. I tried to communicate with them in Danish, English and Spanish. Nothing got through. However, I sold them some ice cream and I feel like I might have understood their request. Maybe not, but they looked happy most of the time, so I guess I didn't do too bad.
As usual I had to put on my fake smile while I was thinking die, you son of a bitch! Wait here while I get my baseballbat, and I'll rearrange your face. I'm a grrrreat surgeon. and other stuff along those lines, when a bunch of people as. Fucking. Usual. Asked me if I just happened to be a certain famous person. Or perhaps related to her? If I were, I don't think I'd be working at minimum wage washing dishes and selling ice cream. Do you?
They do.

THERE'S A PARTY IN THE U-S-A!She wants to kick your ass. For realz.
Fortunately she's old and not very fast. I am the opposite. And I know where you live.
Ha.

It helps when people try to redeem themselves by saying that I'm prettier than her. But still I'd like just 3-5% of her money or $1 everytime people asked me that stupid question - and I'd be rich.
Also, on this darling Tuesday, I got hijacked into starring in a commercial. While at work, so I couldn't even run away as I may have liked to. And did the bitches pay me? NO! I'm seriously considering hunting them down. With a baseballbat or a lawsuit. Haven't quite decided yet.

On another topic, isn't this the Pope wearing a cowboy-hat?!

And is that a goldchain around his neck? Pimpin'!

Well, maybe people will now ask me if I'm "the girl from that commercial"... But we'll see.

RIP Bjørn.

The Danish Summer, Live It and Love It.

The Danish summer is all about sunshine and butterflies. We always have the best weather...
Not.
We're used to depressing cold weather, rain, rain and rain, but a few days ago we were also subject to flooding.

Wanna go for a swim? Used to be a highway...

I'm actually a fan of heavy rain/thunderstorms because, well, they're awesome.
They are!
Can't stand the neverending drizzle that we have so often, which is also why I will (probably) never move to London. And why I have grand plans of taking part of my education in Hawaii, California and/or Australia. Yes please.

Very sweet and deep.
But sorta obvious when you live in a country where the months on average have 8-13 days of rain.
-Which feels like more.

On the bright side we don't have too many religious nutters (okay, one religious nutter is one too many, but still...) in this country of sunshine. So at least we didn't hear any "GOD IS WASHING AWAY THE SINNERS" or "GOD WILL JUDGE YOU!!!" or whatnot. At least not anywhere I looked, haha.

God/Allah/The Holy Überrabbit punishing annoying cabdrivers?

Dancing in the rain is actually pretty awesome, but doesn't stop me from mainly preferring sunshine.

Her kind of love is what I adore
What kind of trouble am I in for
My kind of heaven lies in hells back door
And I got more than I need

Cause I need sunshine
The kind that everybody knows
My sunshine she's finer than a painted rose
Yeah yeah sunshine yeah 

(from "Sunshine" by Aerosmith)

I WILL Leave My Hat On, Thank You Very Much...

It's been a while - but in that while I graduated. At long last I got that wonder of a hat put on my head.
And it's just been a bunch of crazy days since then. Since my last exam was on the last possible day the craziness started off right away. I've never spent this much money on eating (and drinking) out in a week and a half before. But we're having fun. A lot of fun.
Some of us... Too much fun.

Wait... How did this happen?

Right, so that didn't happen. Not for me at least.
-Oh, and my hat is a bit more discreet than that one...
But I'm being told my new standard can be described by the lovely word "naked".
It's a tradition that we go for some skinny dipping when we get our hat, and I'd already done it once but apparently my very drunk alterego felt like it would be an EXCELLENT idea to repeat the fun at 4 or 5 in the morning the other day. In front of a bunch of people that I know/don't know. Gotta love that. Especially because I thought that people only saw me from the back, and I'm being told that they most certainly did not only see that.
I'm still hoping they're just trying to make me feel embarrased or something...

They should put up signs like this everywhere I go when I'm drunk from what I hear.
Just remove the "sun"-part. We don't really get any of that in Denmark anyways...

I hope I'm done with the whole "yay, I'm so drunk that I'm naked"-thing. I'm not sure it would make the best impression at college. It would, probably, make an impression, but I'm not sure it's the image I'm going for, haha...
Deadline for signing up for uni is 5th July, but I'm planning on doing it now. At least my lovely 'rentals are telling me to...

On an endnote for this very brief post, I'll just say that I met some pathetic loser in the city last night who told me and a couple of friends that it was "about time to take that hat off". HELL no! Just because he's too stupid to get any kind of an education doesn't mean I won't be happy that I got one - and show it. Take a chill pill, dude - it's only been about a week.


And now: PARTY ON!!

And Another One Down, And Another One Down - Another One Bites The Dust!

Five down, two to go.
Hell yes.

This countdown refers to my exams. Only two to go, and I will have one of these beauties resting peacefully on my head:

Come to mama, come ooon, you know you want to...

I know it wants to, too.
Less than two weeks 'till I get it. I'm really scared and really excited, but I know it'll be great.
After I get it I'll have what I expect to be two of the most alcoholic weeks in my entire life.
Oh well, what one doesn't sacrifice for the sake of tradition... *coughs*
And once I do get that sucker you can betcha I will leave my hat on!

You may congratulate me on never having to worry about how the workers of the 19th century felt or why they felt that way, again. It's a great feeling I tell you.

Untill next time...

Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, A Pirates Life For Me...

Is "yo-ho" short for "hi ya whore"?

Just got home from watching the new Pirates-movie. This is an urgent matter, which I must share with the entire world at once.
Consider it done.
Captain Jack Sparrow is pretty much made of awesome, which is why I cannot dislike any of the movies, even if the stupid people behind it decided to cast Penélope Cruz. Come on! Why???
I guess I'm a fangirl, so I liked the movie. Go watch it. Especially if you have stupid upcoming exams.

Exams! RUN!!!!!

I do. (Have an ass-load of stupid, upcoming, incoming exams).
Which is why I figured dinner with a friend followed by a nice, long, piratey movie was just the thing to do. I'm done with all my written exams, and just need to go through the worst ones where I need to convince ridiculous strangers that I am, in fact, a very nice and clever girl, who deserves a bunch of shining A's.
I'm considering dressing up as a pirate, at least then I could get some fun out of my exams.
I hate the stupid things.

Oh, I'm not allowed to hit the examinator? Even if I'm dressed as a pirate??
Weird...

Anywho, I should get to bed so I'm fresh for studying tomorrow.
But the internet calls me.

-It does!

Hello sexy priest-y guy. I'm the internet. Come with me. I have a tail and no shirt!

Exams? Say What??

I have been absent for a while. Again. I know. Apologies.

I've been stressed out of my mind to somewhere past the solar system because of my upcoming exams. I'm doing good in school and all, but somehow this does not help my nerves. If anything it almost makes it worse. Stupid expectations. And stupid exams.
My last schoolday is Monday, and my first exam is Wednesday. Lovely.
If all else fails, I guess I can go with tactics along these lines:

A wild Danish exam appears... And burns.

Can I bring matches or a lighter to my written exams? I know I have to hand over my phone for the duration of the exam (noes, I could cheat!!!!!), but what if my paper(s) suddenly, spontaneously self-combust(s)?

For some reason, some teachers feel like exams are something to joke with (easy when you're not the one being examined) and say stupid stuff like "exam is a party for the well prepared student." Well, "dying painfully is a party for the annoying teacher"?

Okay, okay, that wasn't very nice, but you'll have to excuse my angry/weird ramblings, 'cause exams do not do anything good for my mental health.

Oh, and also I don't know what I want to do with my life. Can I please be a pyro for Rammstein? I guess that's not the best/most safe plan ever. But it would be fun. So much fun.

I don't know all my exams yet, which is really annoying. I do know my three written exams and one oral. I got sidetracked while writing this post and found something relevant for my one known oral exam (why is it called an "oral exam" in English?! Makes my mind think about stuff that does not happen at the average exam...).
Anywho, this exam is on DNA in biology and English (yay - watching NCIS is now schoolwork!), and I found this:

I will not be happy, yet not surprised, if my mind blanks and this is all I remember at my exam...

It's from this page, which contains good procrastination. Yay!
I hope y'all are doing great, and having a less stressed May than I am!

Excuses, Excuses...

I feel like confessing - I'm one of them. SURPRISE!!!
I guess y'all have already guessed by the delightful name of my blog, but I'm great at procrastinating and making excuses.

Cleaning? Oh no, I have homework and a highly important tetris game to attend to!
Homework? Ahhh, I really need to clean my room. And I want to get outside, perhaps even get to do some sports today!
Exercise? I'm afraid I have too much homework, and also it's been to long since I've: had a girls night out/been chilling with this or that friend/relaxed with my family/taken some time to myself!

Pleeeease google me instead of doing constructive things.

It's the great circle of life excuses. Do you see how neatly they fit, so I can make my mind up to do one thing, and then decide that something else is a better idea or more important?

If anybody out there, yes you!, know how to break this way of thinking. Please - clue me in!
If you're statistically minded (or just ready for procrastinating some more) here's a cuddly flowchart of how an evening with homework often works out for me.

I know I'm not the only one, but I didn't know teachers were equally bad. Not my teachers at least. About 2 months ago I turned in my bioreport a week and a half late (a holiday got in my way), which my lovely teacher now uses as an excuse for why I haven't gotten it back yet. Because "since I turned it in late, he can just return it when he gets the time."
But dear, fellow procrastinators you know as well as I, that I will never get it back with that kind of thinking. My hard work will end up in the dark, endless abyss of forgetfulness and procrastination, and overcoming my list of waymoreimportantthingstodo will have been for nothing!
-Suggestions?

Before I leave, I will let you know that waytoocutehamsterwiththenameofanalcoholicdrink is from Ian's blog-thingy. And... Damn that little thing is sweet, I don't care if I sound like a ten year-old. If you don't love it, just a tiny bit, you have a heart of stone. Or possibly severe allergies, which also makes an acceptable excuse.

Awwwww.

Graceland Is Located In Denmark - Didn't You Know?

Actually, first and foremost let me just say:
WOHOOOOOOO!
I have holidays. A blessed week off from school. Let there be food, laughter and happiness. Possibly also drinking, excercising and drinking, which is very welcome.
I only have 15 schooldays left this year, which I would be ecstatic about if it wasn't because it meant exams. Seriously, whyyyy?

Instead of being happy it's spring and summer, this is what those dear examinations reduce me to.
Damn you, Salazar!

 
Enough with the whining! (For now at least, I make no promises on this account).

Apparently we have a huge Elvis fan here in Denmark. The guy spent the equivalent of $4,5 MILLION on building a Graceland. In a place called "Randers".
Graceland, Randers.
It does have a ring to it, doesn't it?
Or something. Never was a fan of Elvis, but unfortunately it is not for me to decide what he does with his money. Damn.

On a more royal note, the newest additions to the Danish royal family was given their names officially a day or two ago. So, the prince was named Vincent Frederik Minik Alexander. A bunch of people whine over "Vincent", but I think it's kinda cute. I guess people are just hating because the name is really rare here, so people aren't familiar/comfortable with it.
"Minik" is a Greenlandish (Greenish? Greenlandishian?) name, and somebody decided to mess with the media, and kindly let them know that this means "the one who thirsts for breastmilk".
...
I'll just let that one hang in the air for a while - good job on picking out a good source, you guys!!

The princess is named Josephine Sophia Ivalo Mathilda. Ivalo is Greenlandish, and I don't think anybody was able to convince the media that it meant something funny like "the one who suck on boobs" or whatever. Come on, talk to that other guy again!!

The Danes are debating the names as if there was a point to it (seriously, what do they expect to gain from it?), which is really random. But I guess we just like expressing out opinions over here...

Have an awesome weekend, all!

Princess Isabella, Prince Christian, the Crownprince- and princess.
And of course The One Who Thirsts For Breastmilk and his twinsister.

Entertainment Needed.

Long time no see!
Seems that life is dead set (he he) on moving on at a fast pace. Right now, however, not so much. I'm stuck in what might be the most boring class ever. The teacher is this really nice, old, grandpa-ish guy, who speaks in an impressive monotone. Prof. Binns, much?

Actually this particular hour doesn't seem so bad, but that's probably because I didn't hear the assignment. Doesn't seem that anybody else does either, though. A guy in front of me is talking about the persian war, so perhaps somebody heard what we're supposed to do anyways. Everybody else is chatting/eating/singing/Facebook'ing.
I'm fighting the internet, so I at least can watch som Eurosport or whatnot. And kazoom! Why are some sportsoutfits so hideous? Really! Will anybody actually buy them?

Please, please, please be distracted by my boobs.

If I were paid more in a month than most people make in a year, I think I'd be okay with wearing this a couple of times, too.

There wasn't actually any point with this post, other than entertaining myself. At least the pictures should be a source for entertainment for you guys as well.
Papers going around. I'll see if perhaps I can learn something, or... something.

Fitness Center FUN.

So, I have this weird-ish voice inside my head, that sometimes pops out of nowhere and then pops back into nowhere. It does, however, give my life a funny narrative sometimes. And life needs it. Just sayin'.

So today it had one of its little ta-daaaah!'s. I was on my way to the lockerroom in the fitness center. Which I, by the way, recently joined, just for the hell of it.
Two slightly overweight, uh, ladies stepped out, just when I was about to go in, when my insanely happy internal voice informed me: "FATTIES!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D"
I wouldn't accuse my thoughts of being boring politically correct.

I overheard them saying about 5 words about "having another month to tone up" or something, which led me to the question: Is it possible to speak of "toning up" when you have to lose 5kg+ before any muscles are visible? I mean, wouldn't it be, "losing weight" or "getting in shape" before "toning up"?
Don't get me wrong here, I actually admire fat people working out, trying to lose weight/get in shape. A lot. I understand it's hard to go out there when looking like a small/medium/large jell-o mountain. So all kinds of props to them, but her choice of words seemed rather interesting to me.
Oh, and fat bottomed girls, apparantly, make the rockin' world go round. So, s'all good.

Go! Go! Go!

Also on the "fun"-list of fitness center happenings is a Facebook/Fitness center collaboration:
A friend of mine added "runnning" or "fitness" or something to her "sports" on Facebook. Which made her boyfriend, who's a pretty hardcore handball player, inform her that "that's not a sport, it's a pass-time interest." Funny argument ensued. And... Doesn't sound as entertaining when retold, so I'll just leave it at that.

God, I love Google. And Queen's pretty awesome, too.

After spending too much time Googling for a change, I found the site I just remembered when I was thinking about fatties running. Be Does Life, this seriously cool guy, who decided to lose weight and set goals for himself. I really admire him, and I'm not sure I'd be able to do it if I were in his shoes. He's posts before and after pictures, and... wow. Plus he's funny. Downside is, his blog isn't on blogspot, so I can't stalk him properly.
Damn.

Have a great weekend, folks!



Expecting to recieve the new Within Temptation album this Monday! YAY!!!!

Star Wars MARATHON!

This Friday was beautifully spent.
First, 5 hours of intense math (yay!! Or... wait...) and a shitload of candy. Then home to grab a toothbrush and on to one of my friends' house. Her parents are in Norway or something. Out of the house anyways - which is what is important.
Girl has all the Star Wars episodes, so we called it a girls' night with Star Wars.
And don't give me that look. Star Wars is awesome. If you need more reasons, here you go

I really, really want one of those cloaks!

Uh, yeah, the cloaks. Watch it for those. Uh...
And Leia's bunns. They have me laughing flat on my back. I want to get a couple one day. Why not. Just one day, though.
My friend had bought 1kg of candy called "Star Mix", which is nothing short of brilliant. Hey-o themed out night! So just to make sure I got enough sugar that day, I ate some more candy. Woop-di-doo.
As it is necessary for any good movie marathon we ate some pizza (lasagna will do every once in a while), and then some more candy.
We saved II and III for Saturday morning, at which time I had room for some more candy. Oh the joy. Who needs wholegrain bread, fruit and vegetables and that kind of shit anyways? Right!

Good nutrition for the healthy woman.

My workout later that day did not go very well. How strange...
So my evil midterm tests or whatever they're called are over, which means I don't have an excuse to go 75/25 (candy/healthy'n weird stuff) with my nutrition anymore. Damn. Hello carrots.






...is that chocolate?

CHECK OUT HENDES BOOBS!

I really, really love being from a country with a language that most people don't understand.
Holidays are great, because we can go around and talk out loud about people looking good/bad/being weird/awesome. It's awesome beyond imagination.
- At least until we get the stink eye. And even then it has potential for outrageous fun.

Oh... You didn't like my ginger joke?

My best friend and her family moved to California a couple of years ago, and I, of course, had to go visit her. A couple of times...

Anywho. One of the times we were shopping in some huge supermarket-thingy, CostCo or whatnot, and at the check-out counter sits this lady with really, really big and very fake boobs. If she had worn a sweater, it would've looked like she had two big balloons tied below her neck. On top of that she had an ass-ugly manicure.

Well... In Danish we have incorporated quite a few English term, especially young people. So my friend and I notice her boobloons and talk veeery discreetly about them, when my friend decides to let her dad know. (You know, he probably hadn't noticed them. Being a man and all...)

So, really loudly, my friend goes "FAR! CHECK OUT HENDES BOOBS!!!!!!!" Her father then makes the wrong decision of not acknowledging this elegant statement at all, so my lovely friend repeats, for this is a most important matter: "CHECK LIGE OUT HENDES BOOBS!!!!"
About this time I'm fighting for air, and barely holding myself upright, and her dad is focusing veeery hard on paying for the groceries and not making eyecontact with anyone, and the cashier is sending serious evil eyes at my friend.
In her sweet, innocent mind my friend wonders a bit why

1) The lady is sending us those evil stares. She obviously doesn't understand what we're saying - we're speaking Danish, and she's American. So... What's going on?
and
2) Her dad doesn't react properly to her tidbit of information, so she keeps up the statements. Come on, at some point he has to get it, right?

We make it through the line without getting murdered (I guess it was somewhere in her contract not to kill the costumers), and about the time we're out on the parking lot I've filled my lungs with just enough air to - through short, barely comprehensible sentences - tell her why I was gasping for air, and why her father decided not to check out our clever discovery.

Let's just say she was slightly embarrased.
And that we still laugh about it today.

An Award? But Isn't That For People Who Like To Dress Up In Overly Expensive Clothing?

(Which I don't mind. I just need somebody to pay for the party. Any volunteers?)

Incredibleness happened. Again. I guess.
Maybe I should stop drinking so much, or perhaps I should keep up the good work since I get so many fun stories out of it.
This was not alcohol induced. Or actually just may have been, just not directly.

What happened was I got an award. For my blog. Who would've guessed?
Wait, don't answer that!
I got it from Kage Mrs. Rollins, whose blog you should go check out, even if you just came by my blog looking for pictures of more or less naked people.

Tch-tching!
-You know you're jealous!

After some research, I found out that the lovely piece of bling actually means I have to do stuff. I'm reminded, just a teeny tiny bit, of my childhood with chainletters and stuff. With I never got much out of. Well, this time - I'm on top of things! Mwahahahahahahaha.
I haven't been in the whole blogging-universe-thingy-licious-ish-thing for too long, so I'm only able to give you five new, or not new, blogs to stalk. Which you should. Because they're awesome.

Hyperbole and a Half (This will for sure have you rolling on the floor laughing at least a couple of times.)

The Gathering Storm (My good friend Michael. He likes to diss Twilight.)

Sugar Free Thoughts (I don't think there's any artificial sweetener either.)

The Didactic Pirate (Ninjas are awesome, but pirates definitely are too!)

Sex, Sequins + Sociopaths (The mighty blog/bloggess from where I got this award in the first place. At first I was thinking "Oh... I probably can't send it back," but then I figured that my blog = my rules, and that I've already bent them today, so why not just continue? Seems to work out fine for me.) 

 

You only got five blogs, but I won't cheat you for the 7 random things about me. Which you probably don't know. Warning: Sacriledge coming up.

1. I'm going to be the first female pope. That's right bitches beloved subjects, you'll all bow down to me some day. And give me money for my houses and clothes and whateverthehell I want. Willingly! Because that will ensure your road to Paradise. I'll be Charlotte I, and all future female popes (popettes?) will have to name themselves after me. Then I'll start taking ninja courses and be even more awesome.

2. I'm not actually religious even though I'm baptized (as a Protestant). When I was preparing to be confirmed, however, I figured out that this religion-thing wasn't really my thing. This will not be an obstacle on my road to pope/popessdom.

3. I like to read, like a good little geek. A small, annoying detail is, that once it's schoolwork it suddenly becomes at lot less interesting. It really doesn't matter what it is. Even NCIS became slightly less interesting when I discovered an excuse way to watch it for an exam.

4. I'm a teensy, weensy bit competetive. Just sometimes. *cough*... I don't know how I got both that and the "extreme laziness"-gene. Oh, and I love doing sports. How did this happen? It's like a trainwreck sometimes.

5. I'm addicted to a bunch of tv-series. It's actually really, really embarrasing. It's my guilty pleasure, and I can't seem to get enough. They also make me turn into a slightly judging gossip. There are even a couple of reality shows I'm addicted to. Megavideo is my friend. When they don't do their bitchy "infringement" thing. I might create a popely decree against it, once I've taken residence and so forth.

6. 2,4-dinitrophenylhydrazin. 'Nuff said.

7. Every now and then I try to find stuff by "ctrl+f" or thinking/saying "ACCIO [insert wished item]!" I just tried it on sushi, and was sorely dissapointed by the outcome. The day it actually does work I might faint.

I thought about writing some boring info, like "English is not my first language, but my second. Surprise!?" But I figured you already guessed that one.
I'm sorry it took me a while, but my teachers are (between blablablas) throwing a shitload of papers and essays my way.
Have fun!

The Story About The Pagan Muffin-thief. Part 2.

It was new moon that very night, so it was pitch black, and the wind made the cool air freezing, chilling them to their bones. It was close to midnight, and the only sound aside the wind in the trees, was the clattering teeth of the three board-members.
The Joninanator and The Chrisoman, however, did not feel the cold of the night, for they had powers beyond those of humans. The Joninanator shot the board members a condescending look, and moved towards the heavy door ahead. It was unlocked, so the five people hurried in, spearheaded by The Joninanator. The room they entered was dark, but they followed the sound of muffled voices and reached a room dimly lit by candles. Two people were encircled by people in cowls. The candles flickered, and cast long shadows in the room. The five intruders discreetly watched and were not seen by the coven doing their ritual. They stood and watched in stunned silence, minutes or hours had passed, when the woman in the middle ended the ritual: “…we bid you hail and farewell. Hail and farewell.” 
They hurried off, for they dared not get caught lurking on these sinister and strange people. The three board members were stunned, but The Joninanator and The Chrisoman both bore smug looks on their faces as they rushed out into the night again.

The next day, the Pagan Muffin-thief was sitting innocently in Indiscreet Math when the headmaster walked in. He had a grave, serious look on his face, and told the class that he had an announcement to make. He looked directly at the Pagan Muffin-thief and declared that he was ashamed “to have such lying filth” at his school, and that “his kind” were not accepted. Heads turned, and the Pagan Muffin-thief felt his face turning five shades of red. But this was not the end. The headmaster proceeded to insist, that he would show the proof, and pulled out a video of the events of the ritual. When the video was over, the headmaster turned back to the Pagan Muffin-thief, and in what seemed to be slowmotion said “You. Are. Expelled.” The Pagan Muffin-thief then disappeared. Nobody saw how he did it, and all kinds of stories are being told about the event. Some say that he ran out of the door, faster than the wind, others that he melted into the shadows under his desk, and then there’s the story where he turned into a hawk, knocked over the headmaster, and flew out through a window while all the telephones in the room suddenly played Lady GaGa songs.

Hello, hello baby, you called I can't hear a thing. Pagan Muffin-thief left, so them phones are ringing...

Nobody knows exactly when it all happened. Some say that it was decades ago and that the Pagan Muffin-thief simply has the power of controlling all Lady GaGa songs – past, present and future releases – and some say that it was only last week.

Fact remains, that every now and then you can sense a presence in the shadows near a stand bearing muffins. It is the Pagan Muffin-thief, who has come to take your muffin. He will have his revenge one day, over The Joninanator and The Chrisoman, for his strength lies in the muffins he steals and consumes, which are great in numbers. The happy, delicious triple-chocolate muffin faced its end, but it was not sad.

For it is said, that all muffins eaten by the Pagan Muffin-thief goes on to live happily ever after in Elysium.  

At least that's what they think they saw...

Beware, oh muffins of the Earth! (AKA The Story About The Pagan Muffin-thief. Part 1.)

I began writing this story just for the fun of it, inspired by one of my friends and a dream he had about getting kicked out of school for being pagan (which he isn't anyways...) It kinda took off, so I decided to break it into two, so it wouldn't get too overwhelming. The combination of his fantasy and mine, makes one weird story. Here we go...

Once upon a time there was a muffin. It was a happy, delicious triple-chocolate muffin, partially wrapped in elegant floral paper. It was lying in a basket with its extended family, enjoying the lights shining down from above, when suddenly a big hand grabbed it.
It was the hand of the Pagan Muffin-thief. The Pagan Muffin-thief moved like a whisper through the shadows, and was almost impossible to spot with the naked eye.
The Pagan Muffin-thief had haunted technological universities since he was young. Once, the Pagan Muffin-thief was enrolled in one of these universities as a happy, clever student. Every now and then he was known to yell odd things such as "CLEAVER TO FACE!" or "SUSHI! NOW!" or state things in a mathematical language that only few was able to understand. Despite these strange outbursts, he was liked by most. However, he had two archenemies: The Joninanator and her apprentice The Chrisoman.

The Joninanator - looking like a wrestler, but rocking a costume like Catwoman.

The Chrisoman - rockin' the pink. Only real men can wear pink... Right??

The Joninanator and The Chrisoman were plotting against the Pagan Muffin-thief, for they knew a secret. The Pagan Muffin-thief practiced a religion strictly banned by the university. So they made up a plan: To expose the Pagan Muffin-thief.
The Joninanator had spies in all places, and had by blackmail and threats gained the knowledge of time and place for the Pagan Muffin-thief's next ritual. She brought her faithful Chrisoman, and had also convinced some members of the board of the university to join them, for she would need witnesses to his evil deeds.

To be continued...

Adventures in Gypsyland. Part 2.

There are a bunch of things that I have to do before I die. Going to Australia and trying poledancing are currently pretty high on my imaginary list, and in Gypsyland I got a few others crossed off.
Even a couple I didn't know that were there - eating dried kiwi, for example. I guess it's good I don't know where to buy that where I live, because I was going through the ones I bought at an alarming rate while I had them.
Sugar is good, no?

Gimme that, bitch.

Anywho, on our last night in Barca some of the guys where talking about going to a stripclub, and being the curious person that I am, I wanted to join them. So I did, and a couple of the girls did too.
I'm not into girls at all, but I am/was intrigued. Stripclubs are pretty much clouded in a veil of mystery to girls like me. And probably also a bunch of girls not like me. So I was pretty excited to rip that damn veil o'mystery from those clubs.
Can you say anticlimax?
I must have seen too many Hollywoodproductions, because I expected a bunch of beautiful women, except their boobs would be way too big. And also very fake.

My expectation of a stripclub...

...and what I actually saw.

Well, their boobs were definitely not fake. They were... well... hanging. And their bodies weren't fit. One of them was even kinda fat. Ew.
I thought strippers were doing awesome tricks on the poles. Spinning, climbing... Dunno. Stuff! But they didn't.
Not many balloon-boobs or sexy mamas in there. I'm sorry I have such a perfectionist mind, but I want to see sexy strippers doing cool stunts! Is that so much to ask for?

Still, it was a really funny experience. The men in there was staring at us like they were thinking "why are they wearing clothes? So wrong. Women with clothes on are weird." Which was pretty funny.
Also I don't think those strippers were really strippers. They were probably just prostitutes, judging from the way they acted off-stage and from what some of the guys told me.
Oh well. Stripclubs - I'm not done with you yet. I'll be back!
- But not at that particular stripclub.

Quest: Go to Hollywood, get drunk, find cool stripclub, get drunker.