What Happens At Work... Apparently Doesn't Stay There.

In the summertime I work at this little shop by a lake where we mainly sell beer, ice cream and junk food. This doesn't sound very exciting, I know. But holy shit, weird stuff goes on at that place. And some of those customers are even more whacked than we who work there.
This Tuesday I took a nice little 9,5 hour-shift, and among other things I danced and sang with/for some customers, tried to communicate with an old Italian couple who spoke Italian. And only Italian, it seemed. I tried to communicate with them in Danish, English and Spanish. Nothing got through. However, I sold them some ice cream and I feel like I might have understood their request. Maybe not, but they looked happy most of the time, so I guess I didn't do too bad.
As usual I had to put on my fake smile while I was thinking die, you son of a bitch! Wait here while I get my baseballbat, and I'll rearrange your face. I'm a grrrreat surgeon. and other stuff along those lines, when a bunch of people as. Fucking. Usual. Asked me if I just happened to be a certain famous person. Or perhaps related to her? If I were, I don't think I'd be working at minimum wage washing dishes and selling ice cream. Do you?
They do.

THERE'S A PARTY IN THE U-S-A!She wants to kick your ass. For realz.
Fortunately she's old and not very fast. I am the opposite. And I know where you live.
Ha.

It helps when people try to redeem themselves by saying that I'm prettier than her. But still I'd like just 3-5% of her money or $1 everytime people asked me that stupid question - and I'd be rich.
Also, on this darling Tuesday, I got hijacked into starring in a commercial. While at work, so I couldn't even run away as I may have liked to. And did the bitches pay me? NO! I'm seriously considering hunting them down. With a baseballbat or a lawsuit. Haven't quite decided yet.

On another topic, isn't this the Pope wearing a cowboy-hat?!

And is that a goldchain around his neck? Pimpin'!

Well, maybe people will now ask me if I'm "the girl from that commercial"... But we'll see.

RIP Bjørn.

The Danish Summer, Live It and Love It.

The Danish summer is all about sunshine and butterflies. We always have the best weather...
Not.
We're used to depressing cold weather, rain, rain and rain, but a few days ago we were also subject to flooding.

Wanna go for a swim? Used to be a highway...

I'm actually a fan of heavy rain/thunderstorms because, well, they're awesome.
They are!
Can't stand the neverending drizzle that we have so often, which is also why I will (probably) never move to London. And why I have grand plans of taking part of my education in Hawaii, California and/or Australia. Yes please.

Very sweet and deep.
But sorta obvious when you live in a country where the months on average have 8-13 days of rain.
-Which feels like more.

On the bright side we don't have too many religious nutters (okay, one religious nutter is one too many, but still...) in this country of sunshine. So at least we didn't hear any "GOD IS WASHING AWAY THE SINNERS" or "GOD WILL JUDGE YOU!!!" or whatnot. At least not anywhere I looked, haha.

God/Allah/The Holy Überrabbit punishing annoying cabdrivers?

Dancing in the rain is actually pretty awesome, but doesn't stop me from mainly preferring sunshine.

Her kind of love is what I adore
What kind of trouble am I in for
My kind of heaven lies in hells back door
And I got more than I need

Cause I need sunshine
The kind that everybody knows
My sunshine she's finer than a painted rose
Yeah yeah sunshine yeah 

(from "Sunshine" by Aerosmith)

I WILL Leave My Hat On, Thank You Very Much...

It's been a while - but in that while I graduated. At long last I got that wonder of a hat put on my head.
And it's just been a bunch of crazy days since then. Since my last exam was on the last possible day the craziness started off right away. I've never spent this much money on eating (and drinking) out in a week and a half before. But we're having fun. A lot of fun.
Some of us... Too much fun.

Wait... How did this happen?

Right, so that didn't happen. Not for me at least.
-Oh, and my hat is a bit more discreet than that one...
But I'm being told my new standard can be described by the lovely word "naked".
It's a tradition that we go for some skinny dipping when we get our hat, and I'd already done it once but apparently my very drunk alterego felt like it would be an EXCELLENT idea to repeat the fun at 4 or 5 in the morning the other day. In front of a bunch of people that I know/don't know. Gotta love that. Especially because I thought that people only saw me from the back, and I'm being told that they most certainly did not only see that.
I'm still hoping they're just trying to make me feel embarrased or something...

They should put up signs like this everywhere I go when I'm drunk from what I hear.
Just remove the "sun"-part. We don't really get any of that in Denmark anyways...

I hope I'm done with the whole "yay, I'm so drunk that I'm naked"-thing. I'm not sure it would make the best impression at college. It would, probably, make an impression, but I'm not sure it's the image I'm going for, haha...
Deadline for signing up for uni is 5th July, but I'm planning on doing it now. At least my lovely 'rentals are telling me to...

On an endnote for this very brief post, I'll just say that I met some pathetic loser in the city last night who told me and a couple of friends that it was "about time to take that hat off". HELL no! Just because he's too stupid to get any kind of an education doesn't mean I won't be happy that I got one - and show it. Take a chill pill, dude - it's only been about a week.


And now: PARTY ON!!

And Another One Down, And Another One Down - Another One Bites The Dust!

Five down, two to go.
Hell yes.

This countdown refers to my exams. Only two to go, and I will have one of these beauties resting peacefully on my head:

Come to mama, come ooon, you know you want to...

I know it wants to, too.
Less than two weeks 'till I get it. I'm really scared and really excited, but I know it'll be great.
After I get it I'll have what I expect to be two of the most alcoholic weeks in my entire life.
Oh well, what one doesn't sacrifice for the sake of tradition... *coughs*
And once I do get that sucker you can betcha I will leave my hat on!

You may congratulate me on never having to worry about how the workers of the 19th century felt or why they felt that way, again. It's a great feeling I tell you.

Untill next time...

Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, A Pirates Life For Me...

Is "yo-ho" short for "hi ya whore"?

Just got home from watching the new Pirates-movie. This is an urgent matter, which I must share with the entire world at once.
Consider it done.
Captain Jack Sparrow is pretty much made of awesome, which is why I cannot dislike any of the movies, even if the stupid people behind it decided to cast Penélope Cruz. Come on! Why???
I guess I'm a fangirl, so I liked the movie. Go watch it. Especially if you have stupid upcoming exams.

Exams! RUN!!!!!

I do. (Have an ass-load of stupid, upcoming, incoming exams).
Which is why I figured dinner with a friend followed by a nice, long, piratey movie was just the thing to do. I'm done with all my written exams, and just need to go through the worst ones where I need to convince ridiculous strangers that I am, in fact, a very nice and clever girl, who deserves a bunch of shining A's.
I'm considering dressing up as a pirate, at least then I could get some fun out of my exams.
I hate the stupid things.

Oh, I'm not allowed to hit the examinator? Even if I'm dressed as a pirate??
Weird...

Anywho, I should get to bed so I'm fresh for studying tomorrow.
But the internet calls me.

-It does!

Hello sexy priest-y guy. I'm the internet. Come with me. I have a tail and no shirt!

Exams? Say What??

I have been absent for a while. Again. I know. Apologies.

I've been stressed out of my mind to somewhere past the solar system because of my upcoming exams. I'm doing good in school and all, but somehow this does not help my nerves. If anything it almost makes it worse. Stupid expectations. And stupid exams.
My last schoolday is Monday, and my first exam is Wednesday. Lovely.
If all else fails, I guess I can go with tactics along these lines:

A wild Danish exam appears... And burns.

Can I bring matches or a lighter to my written exams? I know I have to hand over my phone for the duration of the exam (noes, I could cheat!!!!!), but what if my paper(s) suddenly, spontaneously self-combust(s)?

For some reason, some teachers feel like exams are something to joke with (easy when you're not the one being examined) and say stupid stuff like "exam is a party for the well prepared student." Well, "dying painfully is a party for the annoying teacher"?

Okay, okay, that wasn't very nice, but you'll have to excuse my angry/weird ramblings, 'cause exams do not do anything good for my mental health.

Oh, and also I don't know what I want to do with my life. Can I please be a pyro for Rammstein? I guess that's not the best/most safe plan ever. But it would be fun. So much fun.

I don't know all my exams yet, which is really annoying. I do know my three written exams and one oral. I got sidetracked while writing this post and found something relevant for my one known oral exam (why is it called an "oral exam" in English?! Makes my mind think about stuff that does not happen at the average exam...).
Anywho, this exam is on DNA in biology and English (yay - watching NCIS is now schoolwork!), and I found this:

I will not be happy, yet not surprised, if my mind blanks and this is all I remember at my exam...

It's from this page, which contains good procrastination. Yay!
I hope y'all are doing great, and having a less stressed May than I am!

Excuses, Excuses...

I feel like confessing - I'm one of them. SURPRISE!!!
I guess y'all have already guessed by the delightful name of my blog, but I'm great at procrastinating and making excuses.

Cleaning? Oh no, I have homework and a highly important tetris game to attend to!
Homework? Ahhh, I really need to clean my room. And I want to get outside, perhaps even get to do some sports today!
Exercise? I'm afraid I have too much homework, and also it's been to long since I've: had a girls night out/been chilling with this or that friend/relaxed with my family/taken some time to myself!

Pleeeease google me instead of doing constructive things.

It's the great circle of life excuses. Do you see how neatly they fit, so I can make my mind up to do one thing, and then decide that something else is a better idea or more important?

If anybody out there, yes you!, know how to break this way of thinking. Please - clue me in!
If you're statistically minded (or just ready for procrastinating some more) here's a cuddly flowchart of how an evening with homework often works out for me.

I know I'm not the only one, but I didn't know teachers were equally bad. Not my teachers at least. About 2 months ago I turned in my bioreport a week and a half late (a holiday got in my way), which my lovely teacher now uses as an excuse for why I haven't gotten it back yet. Because "since I turned it in late, he can just return it when he gets the time."
But dear, fellow procrastinators you know as well as I, that I will never get it back with that kind of thinking. My hard work will end up in the dark, endless abyss of forgetfulness and procrastination, and overcoming my list of waymoreimportantthingstodo will have been for nothing!
-Suggestions?

Before I leave, I will let you know that waytoocutehamsterwiththenameofanalcoholicdrink is from Ian's blog-thingy. And... Damn that little thing is sweet, I don't care if I sound like a ten year-old. If you don't love it, just a tiny bit, you have a heart of stone. Or possibly severe allergies, which also makes an acceptable excuse.

Awwwww.